Know what is cooking in my brain?

Whenever I start cooking I remember the days spent in the chemistry lab doing hazardous experiments, although I have not used fractional distillation for preparing soups or none of the ingradients have resulted into poisonous gase like Chlorine resulting from HCL+KMnO4. I wish none of the chefs in the world are as dumb as myself. So, to better understand what cooking means and to satiate my enormous gustatory and feeding needs I embarked on an expedition to find some tasty recipes which I could try on my own. Eventually I landed on manogat.com where I could find some good recipes which were tasted by and tested on so many other manogatis. So I was quite sure of not failing this time. First thing I tried was "boiling water" and I was successful in the first attempt for the first time. Who says failure is the first step towards success? In this case, I skipped that step and leaped forward to making an omelette. To my utter surprise I was successful again but with a tinge of distaste, because the omelette was not EATABLE. Then I understood that the main aim of cooking is to cook things which can be EATEN(after cooking them). And now by the rule "what goes in, comes out", my brain cells produced a fantastic idea of cooking rice. This time I was nervous and overcautious because there was nothing for me to do except for putting rice in water and the mixture(?) in the oven. I was afraid of exploding the oven so I set the cooking time to 1 min and increased it by 1 min every time it stopped. Finally after 20 excruciating mins I was satisfied with the performance of the oven and decided to check if the rice is cooked. And here it is, freshly cooked, delicious, white, heated, hungry, ready to be eaten, steamy and yummy rice prepared by me. My roommates were happier than me at my success and we decided to celebrate with a party. The menu for the party was boiled eggs. Gosh! this was amazing, if you boil the eggs for more than enough, they get burnt(do not produce chickens ;-) ). From then on, I never looked back and kept on trying new things on my roommates with sporadic failures. And now I am an accomplished chef who won't keep you hungry if you visit my palace(? place). Really, I appreciate the hard times that my roommates had to go through, but "as you sow so shall you reap !".